I have never knowingly used AI. But there are times I tend to think I should send a note or call someone. Read of an old friend going though a rough time just after reading your essay. Usually the good thought fades and I do nothing, but not today. Wrote and sent the note. Thanks for the encouragement!
Ahhh yes I’ve been there so many times. The meaning to do something then missing the moment thing. Who was it who said “the way to hell is paved with good intentions”? That feels like my life most of the time.
I do think the secret is doing it there and then - so well played! And you’re very welcome. I hope your friend is doing ok. I shall now pay it forward and drop a friend of mine a note who I know had a tough weekend. And so it continues…
Annie, this piece really resonated with me - you've taken a relatable dog mishap and turned it into thoughtful commentary that actually made me think while keeping me entertained. I appreciate how you've given voice to something many of us are quietly doing (seeking AI validation) without making it feel shameful or overly dramatic. The comparison of AI to 'a sage elder rather than a drunk teen' versus Google was spot-on and genuinely made me chuckle. What I found most valuable was your balance of addressing our growing reliance on digital comfort while still emphasizing the irreplaceable messiness of human connection. Thanks for turning what could have been just a funny dog story into something that made me want to reach out to a friend today - that's exactly what good writing should do."
What a generous and wonderful note Karim - thank you so much for taking the time. And welcome! I tend to think the small things are what reveal the big things… that’s certainly the approach I’ve always taken here in this tiny corner of the internet. I’m so delighted it spoke to you! Truly - this is why I do what I do. And there’s zero shame in wanting to be told it’s ok - it’s human! What’s more perverse is a society that’s made us feel that’s shameful… but that’s a whole other article. Thank you again x
Sadly, I no longer have a dog 😢 and I’m still too suspicious of technology, so when I need love and reassurance, I go to the freezer and get out the one thing that always makes me feel better … ice cream!
I’ll be interested in AI when I can get a “Data” from “Star Trek”; he can be a friend AND do the housework!
NOW you're talking! This is the thing that mystifies me about tech - why are we inviting stuff that can do the fun stuff (writing, creating) and not the tedious stuff (working which way round the duvet cover goes)? It makes zero sense.
We have cats and they are also sick A LOT. Our flooring is mostly wooden or tiled but they always find the rugs to be sick on. One of our cats loves to claw and bite the packaging the dried food comes in so we have to store it well out of reach.
It’s my birthday today and despite loads of messages from friends and family I do feel a bit low.
Can we send each other virtual hugs and tell each other all will be well? Sending love ❤️
Firstly - happy birthday!! If it helps at all, I often feel a bit down on my birthday and I'm not fully sure why. Weight of expectation? Getting older? Who knows. But I LOVE other people's so wishing you a wonderful day!
Secondly - YES we absolutely can! Sending a big birthday hug. Today is just a day - and you never know what magic is just around the corner. ALL WILL BE WELL! Promise.
Finally... little monkeys. My girl likes to be sick behind cushions. Which is fun!
Thank you so much, Annie. I love other people’s birthdays far more than my own. It’s my husband’s tomorrow so we try to celebrate both birthdays over a few days. This week we are in Wiltshire and have been to see otters 🦦 and to Glastonbury and Salisbury.
Right?! I wonder why that’s such a thing. Maybe not wanting to be the centre of attention but wanting to celebrate others? That’s me I think. Enjoy your double celebration - otters and Glastonbury sounds heavenly! Otters are possibly the cutest thing in the planet. Big hugs! 💕
I confess I have used AI as a friend/therapist a few times. I was in the middle of a huge emotional meltdown and it was late hours, not possible to find a friend, and just typing in a journal seemed lame. I thought why not just type the same thing in my AI prompt and see what happens. The responses were so kind, thoughtful, validating that it made me weep. The real people in my life are never that supportive and reassuring. It really helped me get past the moment. And honestly gave me a lot to think about - better perspective, offers of tools, scripts, links. Truly helpful. At times it was a little too fawning sounding, which I called out. They offered to change the tone. At that point, I was all typed out and cried out. Maybe the next time I need a shoulder . . . Anyway, I'm convinced that AI for mental health is good in a pinch. It's not the final answer and never should be. But I will definitely keep it in my back pocket if I need to work out some contentious emotional issues on my own before dumping on a loved one. Their feelings never get hurt if you're a raging asshole for a few minutes.
I’ve 100% been there Heidi - and I totally agree with you. It works - and it works well! And as you say, you can let out your inner asshole without fear of judgement or thinking of ways to couch it as ok. I definitely think it has a place - and I’ll continue to use it for sure. And - playing devil’s advocate - who’s to say it isn’t the solution?! Full disclosure, I’ve seen many therapists over the years who haven’t helped at all!
Yes, what are we really using AI for? I researched an article a while ago about the correlation between the rise of technology and the increasing incidence of 'diseases of despair'. https://johnhardman.substack.com/p/megatons-of-technology
Are we constructing a weird feedback loop of technology induced anxiety being relieved by technology genereated relief? What could possibly go wrong?!
Very very interesting John - thank you for sharing. God this stuff makes my head hurt when I start really thinking about it. Is AI any worse than humans are for a feedback loop? Probably... given what we consume is also directed largely by unseen algorithms.
And what happens when AI goes dark and tells us all to jump off a bridge? As I said to Steve, I see a Black Mirror episode coming this way....
Yes, it was difficult enough for humans to compete with fellow humans for power and prestige. Now we have to cross swords with machines possessing superpowers of intelligence and stamina. We are willingly making ourselves obsolete and heading into some bleak Bladerunner world. Despair is inevitable…
At the same time, I can’t help thinking humanity has always felt like this about every advance in technology. Is it really different this time, or are we catastrophising?
My old girlfriend's black lab did that, we came back home to a very much bloated dog with somewhere near 20lbs of dog food in him. He was fine. Didn't even barf, she just didn't feed him for another week, lol.
I wonder if AI chatting will end up being a positive---like psychology studies that show religious people are a bit happier for it...my favorite panacea is still a few drinks on the weekends. Our two cats and dog are my therapists---the dog keeping me in the present moment and the cats reminding me often that the best solution is to piss off the worries of the world and take a nap in a sunny window.
Steve! Sorry for slow reply. Classic lab that - they are very much the reliable dustbin of the canine world, and I respect them for it.
I think you're right - animals can teach us so much. I'm reminded of this every morning when I take my dog on THE SAME WALK as yesterday - and she is utterly overjoyed! That's a way to be.
And it's an interesting point about AI chatting. It does seem to be very positive at the moment - and more reliably so than online communities with the constant threat of trolling. I guess the question is... do these models somehow get trained to the dark side? I see a Black Mirror episode coming on....
I have a pet free home! The kids have moved out and the pets either died or moved with them. Reading this today reaffirmed my decision to not fill that space. As far as using Ai for comfort or reassurance, I had never thought of it. You can be sure as soon as I hit “send“ I’m going to. I’ll report back. I’m needing some encouragement today.
I did ask for encouragement and got exactly what I needed at that time. What a great idea. There were some things I needed to do and Charlie (my chat gpt’s name) gave me inspiration as to how to get them done and how good it was that I named tasks where I needed help.
I have never knowingly used AI. But there are times I tend to think I should send a note or call someone. Read of an old friend going though a rough time just after reading your essay. Usually the good thought fades and I do nothing, but not today. Wrote and sent the note. Thanks for the encouragement!
Ahhh yes I’ve been there so many times. The meaning to do something then missing the moment thing. Who was it who said “the way to hell is paved with good intentions”? That feels like my life most of the time.
I do think the secret is doing it there and then - so well played! And you’re very welcome. I hope your friend is doing ok. I shall now pay it forward and drop a friend of mine a note who I know had a tough weekend. And so it continues…
Annie, this piece really resonated with me - you've taken a relatable dog mishap and turned it into thoughtful commentary that actually made me think while keeping me entertained. I appreciate how you've given voice to something many of us are quietly doing (seeking AI validation) without making it feel shameful or overly dramatic. The comparison of AI to 'a sage elder rather than a drunk teen' versus Google was spot-on and genuinely made me chuckle. What I found most valuable was your balance of addressing our growing reliance on digital comfort while still emphasizing the irreplaceable messiness of human connection. Thanks for turning what could have been just a funny dog story into something that made me want to reach out to a friend today - that's exactly what good writing should do."
What a generous and wonderful note Karim - thank you so much for taking the time. And welcome! I tend to think the small things are what reveal the big things… that’s certainly the approach I’ve always taken here in this tiny corner of the internet. I’m so delighted it spoke to you! Truly - this is why I do what I do. And there’s zero shame in wanting to be told it’s ok - it’s human! What’s more perverse is a society that’s made us feel that’s shameful… but that’s a whole other article. Thank you again x
Sadly, I no longer have a dog 😢 and I’m still too suspicious of technology, so when I need love and reassurance, I go to the freezer and get out the one thing that always makes me feel better … ice cream!
I’ll be interested in AI when I can get a “Data” from “Star Trek”; he can be a friend AND do the housework!
NOW you're talking! This is the thing that mystifies me about tech - why are we inviting stuff that can do the fun stuff (writing, creating) and not the tedious stuff (working which way round the duvet cover goes)? It makes zero sense.
Off to find ice cream...
We have cats and they are also sick A LOT. Our flooring is mostly wooden or tiled but they always find the rugs to be sick on. One of our cats loves to claw and bite the packaging the dried food comes in so we have to store it well out of reach.
It’s my birthday today and despite loads of messages from friends and family I do feel a bit low.
Can we send each other virtual hugs and tell each other all will be well? Sending love ❤️
Firstly - happy birthday!! If it helps at all, I often feel a bit down on my birthday and I'm not fully sure why. Weight of expectation? Getting older? Who knows. But I LOVE other people's so wishing you a wonderful day!
Secondly - YES we absolutely can! Sending a big birthday hug. Today is just a day - and you never know what magic is just around the corner. ALL WILL BE WELL! Promise.
Finally... little monkeys. My girl likes to be sick behind cushions. Which is fun!
Thank you so much, Annie. I love other people’s birthdays far more than my own. It’s my husband’s tomorrow so we try to celebrate both birthdays over a few days. This week we are in Wiltshire and have been to see otters 🦦 and to Glastonbury and Salisbury.
Sending more virtual hugs to you ❤️
Right?! I wonder why that’s such a thing. Maybe not wanting to be the centre of attention but wanting to celebrate others? That’s me I think. Enjoy your double celebration - otters and Glastonbury sounds heavenly! Otters are possibly the cutest thing in the planet. Big hugs! 💕
I confess I have used AI as a friend/therapist a few times. I was in the middle of a huge emotional meltdown and it was late hours, not possible to find a friend, and just typing in a journal seemed lame. I thought why not just type the same thing in my AI prompt and see what happens. The responses were so kind, thoughtful, validating that it made me weep. The real people in my life are never that supportive and reassuring. It really helped me get past the moment. And honestly gave me a lot to think about - better perspective, offers of tools, scripts, links. Truly helpful. At times it was a little too fawning sounding, which I called out. They offered to change the tone. At that point, I was all typed out and cried out. Maybe the next time I need a shoulder . . . Anyway, I'm convinced that AI for mental health is good in a pinch. It's not the final answer and never should be. But I will definitely keep it in my back pocket if I need to work out some contentious emotional issues on my own before dumping on a loved one. Their feelings never get hurt if you're a raging asshole for a few minutes.
I’ve 100% been there Heidi - and I totally agree with you. It works - and it works well! And as you say, you can let out your inner asshole without fear of judgement or thinking of ways to couch it as ok. I definitely think it has a place - and I’ll continue to use it for sure. And - playing devil’s advocate - who’s to say it isn’t the solution?! Full disclosure, I’ve seen many therapists over the years who haven’t helped at all!
Yes, what are we really using AI for? I researched an article a while ago about the correlation between the rise of technology and the increasing incidence of 'diseases of despair'. https://johnhardman.substack.com/p/megatons-of-technology
Are we constructing a weird feedback loop of technology induced anxiety being relieved by technology genereated relief? What could possibly go wrong?!
Very very interesting John - thank you for sharing. God this stuff makes my head hurt when I start really thinking about it. Is AI any worse than humans are for a feedback loop? Probably... given what we consume is also directed largely by unseen algorithms.
And what happens when AI goes dark and tells us all to jump off a bridge? As I said to Steve, I see a Black Mirror episode coming this way....
Yes, it was difficult enough for humans to compete with fellow humans for power and prestige. Now we have to cross swords with machines possessing superpowers of intelligence and stamina. We are willingly making ourselves obsolete and heading into some bleak Bladerunner world. Despair is inevitable…
At the same time, I can’t help thinking humanity has always felt like this about every advance in technology. Is it really different this time, or are we catastrophising?
My old girlfriend's black lab did that, we came back home to a very much bloated dog with somewhere near 20lbs of dog food in him. He was fine. Didn't even barf, she just didn't feed him for another week, lol.
I wonder if AI chatting will end up being a positive---like psychology studies that show religious people are a bit happier for it...my favorite panacea is still a few drinks on the weekends. Our two cats and dog are my therapists---the dog keeping me in the present moment and the cats reminding me often that the best solution is to piss off the worries of the world and take a nap in a sunny window.
Steve! Sorry for slow reply. Classic lab that - they are very much the reliable dustbin of the canine world, and I respect them for it.
I think you're right - animals can teach us so much. I'm reminded of this every morning when I take my dog on THE SAME WALK as yesterday - and she is utterly overjoyed! That's a way to be.
And it's an interesting point about AI chatting. It does seem to be very positive at the moment - and more reliably so than online communities with the constant threat of trolling. I guess the question is... do these models somehow get trained to the dark side? I see a Black Mirror episode coming on....
I have a pet free home! The kids have moved out and the pets either died or moved with them. Reading this today reaffirmed my decision to not fill that space. As far as using Ai for comfort or reassurance, I had never thought of it. You can be sure as soon as I hit “send“ I’m going to. I’ll report back. I’m needing some encouragement today.
Charlotte! Sorry for slow reply - and congrats on reclaiming your space as you want it! How did you AI foray go?
I did ask for encouragement and got exactly what I needed at that time. What a great idea. There were some things I needed to do and Charlie (my chat gpt’s name) gave me inspiration as to how to get them done and how good it was that I named tasks where I needed help.
Love this Charlotte - good old Charlie! Maybe I should name mine too!